You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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