We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
