Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
