Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
