if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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