I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
