I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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