I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
