My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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