on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
