Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
