Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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