I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
