So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
