I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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