I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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