Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize