i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
