So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
