Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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