bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
