HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
