I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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