I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
