My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
