told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
