I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
