Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
