I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
