apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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