the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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