mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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