we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
