But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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