Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
