you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
