Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
