Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
