i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
