Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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