glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
