paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
