ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
