i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
