Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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