Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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