He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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