dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so let's talk penis.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
