You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
