Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
