I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
