Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
